As a 30-year-old woman, I had the remarkable experience of becoming immersed in the ancient indigenous culture of Ladakh, where there were no mirrors, cameras or screens. Over the next 40 years, as I went back and forth to the Western world, I became aware of how liberating it was to live in a way where my interactions with others were more intimate, more direct, more personal than the fleeting, speedy relationships that have developed in the modern world. I became aware that it was quite natural for us all to want to be seen, heard, loved and appreciated by others, but that this deep need had been perverted by a global consumer culture that had cut us off from deep, intergenerational, human-scale community, while simultaneously exposing young children to role models on screens. This created an illusion of perfection, not just of beauty, but of wealth, power, fame, happiness. Ordinary, everyday life for virtually everyone seemed dull, boring, unattractive by contrast.
I encourage women to do everything they can to join a circle of women with the goal of connecting as deeply as possible to one another. Ideally, this would be a group of between 5 and 20 people of different ages who live relatively near each other. It’s important that this is not just an expensive weekend therapy, but rather something that can build the foundations of a healthier community, a healthier culture, in which we know that we can rely on one another. The first step involves removing the masks of perfection and separation that have been created, and that means being willing to be open and vulnerable. It means exposing our fears, self-doubt and problems. When this happens, people can create deeper, more intimate bonds that are necessary for secure, meaningful relationships – relationships that provide us with the knowledge that we are loved for who we really are, not for what we look like, what we possess, or the power we have over others.
It is wonderful to see how healing this intimidating, but simple process can be. Weaving these open-hearted, sharing relationships is the foundation for all the healing therapies I know of. Even the most deep-seated addictions are being overcome through this process. Anxiety, addiction and depression are on a rise worldwide, and almost all of us have suffered from the separation that the consumer culture imposes on us. Once we have the courage to share our own fears and problems, the end result is deeply healing and can take us on a journey where we are more able to both give and receive love.
Helena, 75
To read more about Helena’s incredible and important work please visit her pages: Local Futures , Interviews, podcasts & more
.jpg)