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Beauty: “At the end of the day, your feet should be dirty, your hair messy and your eyes sparkling”
When you look up the definition of beauty you get something along the lines of ‘aesthetically pleasing to the eye.’ But my personal idea of beauty has nothing to do with looks. Anyone who knows me well knows I rarely notice the physical characteristics of a person and if I’m asked “Do you think I/they look attractive?’ I get seriously uncomfortable because I know they mean physically and I just don’t know how to judge that. To me, beauty is synonymous with personality, respect, and passion, and I can’t know all that from looking at someone. Do you show up with respect for yourself, those around you, your world? Do you follow your passion? To me, beauty is the sparkle in your eye when you see something beautiful, the way your voice expresses you when you talk about something you love, the pure joy on your face when you dance, the emotion that flits across your face when you are vulnerable and honest. Beauty is when you are entirely yourself, however, that looks and feels to you.
When I was about 15, I stopped wearing the colour black. It made me feel flat, and bright colours made me happy and that was that. I remember wearing rainbow pants to a party and a girl say to me “I’m jealous – I couldn’t wear that.” I immediately offered for her to try them on, of course, you could wear them! I didn’t understand what she meant – that she was too self-conscious. When I realised, I was taken aback by the idea that someone could want to wear something but be too afraid to. It had never crossed my mind, I always just wore what made me happy, no matter what. I feel beautiful when I feel happy and wearing bright, weird things, like this rainbow dress I made. And I rarely spare a thought for how others perceive me because it makes me happy to express myself. “Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
I’ve recently come to terms with my identity as an asexual, which I think explains a lot about my understanding of physical beauty and why I am so confused by people’s need to be attractive for others. Maybe that part of me is why I’ve never had any real issue with my self-perception, when I myself don’t experience physical attraction, I can’t then grasp the concept of being physically attractive to another person’s standards. Who knows – we’re all such complex beings, aren’t we? The funny thing is, a way to identify yourself in the ace community is to wear a black ring – now, should I stop that hiatus on wearing black for that? Time will tell if it feels right.
Please share with us:
Instagram accounts to follow that have great community, important messages (activism, feminism, body positive, health or otherwise) @annaroserichards @barkaa @plasticfreemermaid @unwrinkling @tamsportraits
Favourite authors or books that have had an impact on you: Jodi Picoult for sure! All her books are incredibly thought-provoking
Your favourite song/music: Walk off the Earth (band), Missy Higgins, Lindsey Stirling, Fleetwood Mac
Your favourite pastime/hobby: Sewing, weaving, anything creative honestly
Who do you look to for advice? My gut! But depending on the advice I need, my mum, dad, sisters, friends…it depends
Testimonial: Your thoughts on the experience of being photographed for the Beauty Myth Project:
Briony is a wonderful woman, and The Beauty Myth Project is something that is so so important when we have such a saturation of overinflated standards of beauty that change daily. She had a very calming presence that made me feel so comfortable in front of the camera, and was very much happy to take feedback to make sure the portrait was something you liked. Thank you Briony.