Proud, doesn’t feel right to use, however, I am thankful to myself for not falling victim to the taunts of past habits to not eat and I’m grateful for my healthy body which try to I nourish and care for.
My young and changing teenage self was so affected by hurtful moments, by constantly comparing myself to pictures of photoshopped models and saddened by the praise the skinny pretty girls that I shamed myself for not fitting that standard. I surrendered to the demon of Anorexia nervosa, I shattered into lonely fragmented pieces. She led me into horrific darkness and into an emergency room with a cracked open and deteriorating mind.
My healing journey was great, I became my own best friend and sister and shifted into a chapter of family bonding and connection plus found my incredible friends I’m so grateful for. I found my spiritual path within, which I still follow.
7 years later, and although I love my body more now and am inspired by all the emerging body positivity, it can still be really hard. But I run while I pump tunes to get fitter and heal trauma, I dance to connect to my heritage and try to see my features and body for what they are… uniquely mine. Everyone is so unique, different, and exquisite, we must drop the standard and expectations our egos attach to and build resilience against comparison. The scars, the rolls, the marks, the size, the belly, the hair all of it is natural and human, unique and original to that person and that’s beautiful. We should admire and praise people’s beauty without it making us feel less than because at the end of the day, true beauty really is what’s within us. Beauty is compassion, empathy, understanding, joy, growth, passion, connection, forgiveness, love… when that stuff shines through the eyes of the person in front of you, it’s obvious that their genetic expression (looks) and their personality, spirit, heart and soul combine, is what true beauty is. Their own, our own true beauty.
Ana is a quiet and somewhat distant voice at times, I address her as an aspect of myself that always needs love and understanding, I’m proud of myself for keeping her at bay in a distant corner of my mind while the rest of me chooses paths that will help me thrive. Okay … I can definitely say I am proud of that.
Testimonial: Your thoughts on the experience of being photographed for the Beauty Myth Project:
Awesome! Briony is a lovely woman and I deeply respect her vision and project. I was photographed at a beautiful women’s event, such a sacred weekend that I’m grateful to have had myself captured at by this talented and beautiful photographer. Keen to see all the photos and posts yet to come!
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